Emily Gillatt-Ball has a fridge magnet which reads, ‘Everyone is entitled to my opinion,’ and she means it!
All requests for beta-reading, editorial advice or other writing services will be treated as confidential and your work will not be shown to or discussed with any other person.
Contact Emily for further information. Be careful what you wish for.
THE CRITIQUE by Emily Gillatt-Ball First, many thanks for showing me your novel Of course, it’s just a draft one at this stage But still, it is a marvellous achievement To get the story out and on the page I’m flattered that you’ve asked for my opinion I've given it some well-considered thought You know it's simply vital to be candid Or you won’t get the guidance that you’ve sought I have to say, your style is dull and worthy Which gives your story quite a dreary start You’ve shovelled in your adverbs like confetti Though less is more is crucial to our art Your characters are mostly unconvincing The dialogue is often, frankly, crap The hero is derivative and boring The heroine deserves a major slap The setting isn’t clear in your descriptions And is there even meant to be a plot? I have a problem with the final sentence It really should be taken out – and shot! I’ve marked the problems with your punctuation And sentences that simply don’t make sense And all the words you didn’t spell correctly Along with faults in past and present tense Well, anyway, I hope you’re not offended I have to say, you’re looking somewhat sad Despite these minor faults and criticisms To tell the truth, it wasn’t all that bad And if you need some feedback in the future Be sure to get in touch and tell me then Encouragement is vital for us writers So do feel free to ask my help again!